Life Is A Blur

Sometimes I like when life is a blur and it passes me by.  Then I don't have time to focus on the good or bad.  I know they say "Don't wish time away," but I am definitely guilty of that.  Especially recently.  I don't think it's a bad thing though, because if things were to speed up a little, I definitely wouldn't be missing anything good as we have been slammed with bad, bad, and more bad.  'Twil get better they say.

Snuggies

They keep us warm.

Picture of the Day- Hiding

I'm not much for words today so I decided to do a Picture of the Day today. It's from my old job on Halloween. Enjoy!

I'm Tired

I hate that I have way too high of expectations for people, or for everything really.  I am constantly always disappointed because I put everything on a pedestal, but myself.  I have tried to work on this terrible attribute to no avail; I think I have actually gotten worse.  Now instead of just getting pissed, I cry, and even throw things.  I'm tired of being disappointed.  I'm tired of crying.  I'm tired of my mind going a mile a minute. I'm tired of being anxious all of the time. I'm tired of not sleeping.  I'm tired of being tired.  To end this rather depressing whine, I will add in some inspirational and hopefully uplifting quotes.

"If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will have complete peace."-Ajahn Chah


"Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever."-Deepak Chopra


"Appreciate what you have already, everything will come into place eventually. Love is family, love is friends and love can be the fact that you are living. Love can be anything that makes you happy"


"Anyone who has been through dark times knows there are moments when you can’t think what, exactly, there is to be thankful for — you simply can’t feel, in the depths of your heart, grateful. When those moments pass — and when I look around, and feel that profound, heart-stopping gratitude for all that is right and beautiful in the world — well, I’m grateful for gratitude."-Dominique Browning


Hopefully it's a better day tomorrow.

"We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, 'Why did this happen to me?' unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way."

Today we found out that Jeremy's (my boyfriend of 6 1/2 years) grandmother (who raised him since he was abandoned by both of his parents) fell and broke her humerus, dislocated her hip, which she already has a fake hip, and has some kind of infection that they can't figure out what kind of infection and where it is coming from.  She had a stroke last week so while this new information is a surprise, we already knew her health was in decline.

She is 90 years old and has lived a wonderful, luxurious, happy lifestyle. I have only met her twice, but she was a fantastic woman from the very first time I met her. Over the 6 1/2 years I have known her, her health had started to decline, as she had to have knee and hip replacements, then she had problems with a hernia.  Besides that, she was still driving at age 84.  She has never met Phoenix since she hasn't been healthy enough to travel from New Hampshire to North Carolina and we haven't had the means to do so either.  I have pestered Jeremy several times telling him that we should go see her but he always blows me off. Tonight I found out why.

When Jeremy's grandfather (who he calls his father) was dying, Jeremy took care of him.  He fed him, bathed him, did everything for him.  He said that this forever scarred him for life.  That the last he ever saw of his grandfather was him being wheeled out on a stretcher.  He said that he doesn't want to remember his grandmother in that way.  Jeremy said he wants to remember her the way she was before she was ill.  The times they drove down to Disney, the time he left his special bear at a restaurant and they had to drive 4 hours to go back and get him, the times when she would tell him to turn down his rap music, or even when she threw away some of his CDs because she felt they were inappropriate.  I just feel sad for him that he didn't have a chance at a "normal" parental lifestyle.  I mean his grandparents were the best parents he could have ever had, but he has to be burdened with their age and this kills me, it really truly kills me.

Well, I Finally Did It

I had been wanting a tattoo for a long time. I already have a tramp stamp, but that was a "dumb, I just turned 18 thing". I have been obsessed with quote tattoos and there was one particular quote I always wanted, but couldn't figure out where to put it. Plus, I'm a super anxious, non talking on the phone, asking questions type of person. But, I went against all odds, made my own appointment and went in and got it done. I have been going through tough times lately and I like how I will forever be able to look down and know that I will be okay. Here is the fabulous work of art:

I couldn't be any more excited or feel any more accomplished than I am right now. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I'm actually liking it!

Wrap Wednesday

If you know me, you know I listen to only rap. I decided to dedicate one day a week to my tunes of the week. Generally they will be older music as I don't listen to much new stuff. Yes, I realize I did a play on words in the title of the blog. I'm trying to be creative here remember? If you have rap sensitive ears, you should probably avoid Wednesdays here. Enjoy! :o)









I guess that's enough for this Wednesday! I could go on for days!