Why So Serious?

From reading my blog you would think I never have fun, but I beg to differ. Humor is the best medicine so in my spare time I like to overdose on it.

You may find me with baskets, spatulas and baby glasses on:

Or I like to wear bifocals (okay I know they are magnifying glasses, but work with me here:

Being a badass at the Grand Canyon 

I like to dress up as P.Diddy:

I like to dress up like a Mickey & Minnie Mouse Butterfly Fairy (yes, I made that up):

I like to drink soda:

I like to protect myself with scissors when I am stranded on the side of the road:

I like to watch 3-D movies in Granny animal print robes while throwing up peace signs:

I love to kiss my kitty Nermal:

I prefer to hide from pictures: 

I like to see beautiful views:

And lastly, what I'm best at...

"Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, heart, talent, guts. That’s what little girls are made of; the hell with sugar and spice."

Phoenix came into this world 8 days "late" begrudgingly.  She would've stayed in my belly forever, I swear. Here she is in my belly the day I gave birth.

Here I am absolutely joyous while in labor.

After 15 hours of laboring and 3 hours of pushing, here she is in my arms.

Here she is with her Daddy.

She's had an attitude from the start.

But at least she is creative.

                                           

Here she is on her 1st Birthday Begging for cake.

Just the two of us with matching shoes.

Fancy.

Playing at the park.

Being artistic.

Stubborn.

And last but not least, here she is now.

She is everything I never knew I always wanted. She impresses me everyday with how smart, creative, and kind she is.  She makes me "okay" with being a frumpy T-shirt and jeans mom. She makes it okay that I posted terrible pictures of me in labor because it doesn't matter, I gave birth to a miracle, so who cares what I look like?  She has changed my viewpoint on life.  She has caused me to be stronger and to always fight harder.  She has taught me to never give up and when I think I can't take anymore, she teaches me that I need to keep on keeping on.

A Family No More

I know that people who are on my Facebook and are part of my Secret Society have seen this picture, but it is important to me.  It is an essential part of history that I will never get back.

This is a picture of my mom, dad, sister, and me as a wee little one. I think I was around 4 years old.  My parents divorced when I was around 11, and although it really sucked for me, it was a great thing for all of us.  I have learned that sometimes things can't be explained, that even if we want them to turn out a certain way, it just may not be possible.  We just need to take in all of the time we have that we can spend with one another as we don't know when those good times will fade.

Everybody has since moved on.  My sister has gotten married and has had two beautiful, successful daughters.  My mother has remarried, and so has my father.  Things don't always end well, but there are always doors that open to new beginnings, and for that we should all be thankful.

A New Project, A Start To The New Me

I don't have one creative bone in my body. Actually, right now I have no desire to do anything. But I am going to change that. I have been in a deep, dark depression that has truly brought me to my knees. People don't want to talk about depression and think ignoring it will cure it, but that is not true, and I'm not afraid to talk about it.

Part of my problem is hereditary, another part is all of the trials and tribulations I have gone through lately. I had to recently take my daughter out of her daycare because of some pretty unfortunate circumstances.  One day it would be her bus driver terrorizing her, so they moved the bus driver off the bus, the next day it would be another student teaching her horrible, nasty things, then the teachers broke the rules and let my daughter eat an unlimited buffet of candy.  The day after the candy incident the teacher sent out a letter saying that Phoenix was misbehaving and then asked if there were problems going on at home.  I was absolutely outraged to say the least. This may seem petty, but it is indeed not. This daycare has done nothing but tell me that my child is "mentally disabled" and that she will never live a normal life.

She has had a CAT scan, she has been to a specialist and we were assured she is 100% fine.  Her now ex-teacher kept trying to force me to put Phoenix who is 4, on some type of ADD/ADHD medicine.  That is just not for our family.  I have seen horrible things happen with those types of drugs, plus she is so young she wouldn't be able to tell me how it made her feel, if she was okay, etc..  Apparently taking a stand for my daughter has put me in a bad light with them.

The final straw was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when Phoenix wore her brand new Spongebob necklace to school.  Problem is, she didn't come home with it.  She told me her teacher took it from her and she cried really hard.  The next day I went to the school and said teacher was not there.  The other teacher in the classroom had been absent the day before so she said she would call her. When she did the "necklace thief" said that Phoenix UNCLASPED her necklace (which she absolutely can't do) and was slinging it around hitting people so she took it, put it in her pocket and took it home with her.

After I commented that this was impossible, I was filled with more lies.  Then in order to take the focus off of them, they began to say she was bad that day.  Well, duh, they stole her necklace. They also admitted to putting her in the corner a lot by herself, not in time out, just away from other kids. It's not about a a $3.00 necklace.  It's about my daughter being respected and being loved where she is at.  Thankfully she is too young and doesn't realize everything that went on around her.

We are now in the works of finding her a new, safe environment were she will be happy and prosper.  This all leads to the point of my blog.  My mission is to rise above all of my adversities and fight with everything I have.  I will definitely do everything I can to fight for my daughter.  There is no doubt about that.